Twenty Online Dating Tips: Building Real Connections In A Virtual Space

Dating apps have revolutionized the way that people meet and connect with potential romantic partners. Online dating and dating apps have provided a convenient and efficient way of dating for people with increasingly busy lives.

Over 40 million people use online dating apps. Though using these apps is becoming increasingly popular, we might have heard stories about the potential downsides, such as burnout and stress. When over 40 million people use these apps, it’s clear that at least some people are having success with them. 

How to practice good app etiquette

Getting started with dating apps may feel intimidating. Understanding the basics of dating app etiquette may help a newcomer feel more comfortable getting started and have a better online dating experience.

Here is some advice on good app etiquette:

• Keep your profile light and fun. Negativity, insecurities, and other details that might be of a more personal nature should not typically be discussed until a level of trust has been established.
• Send a real first message. While small talk is an unavoidable part of getting to know someone, sending a simple “hey” may not elicit a quality response.
• Be honest about your intentions, such as seeking a long-term relationship or something casual.
• Be honest when you want to end things or cease communication. Avoid “ghosting” others. 
• Engage in the game with respect and patience. Not every match will lead to a connection, but being courteous maintains a positive environment for everyone involved. 
• Provide a timely answer when messaged. If you're interested, continue the conversation; if not, politely decline them.

Advice on building real connections online

Finding a partner through an app may feel easier than meeting someone in real life. Despite the appeal of its convenience and far-reaching capabilities, we still have to put in work and put our best foot forward to succeed at finding a partner. 

Here is some advice on building connections through online apps:

• Treat your profile like a “love lab” of sorts– don’t be afraid to try a variety of photos experimenting with colors that accentuate your ideal looks, and make sure to let your personality shine through.
• Make sure your photos show glimpses of your personality.
• Cast your personal “checklist” aside; don’t focus so much on common interests. You aren’t looking to date a clone of yourself. However, try to assess if it is important for your potential partner’s values to align with your own.
• Let chemistry do its thing. Don’t force it.
• Date with purpose and make your intentions clear.

How to practice safe online dating 

While these apps are usually a safe place to make connections with others and possibly secure a serious relationship, there are certain precautions you can take to defend yourself from potential harm. Meeting people online can be a tool for forming relationships in person, but clear communication and safety always come first.

Some helpful practices for staying safe include:

• Use different photos for your profile to prevent strangers from finding your social media pages.
• Be on the lookout for suspicious profiles or fake accounts that are only trying to scam you. A real person with good intentions online is not likely to ask you for money or donations of any sort.
• Give some time before you give any details that might be too personal.

Navigating the first in person meet-up

Meeting people through online sites can be both exciting and daunting. When transitioning from scrolling through potential matches to planning first dates, the hope of developing a meaningful connection becomes more tangible. A video call or video chat can be a low-pressure way to get a better idea of who you're talking to. For example, you can have a light conversation and ensure the person matches their picture. However, you may want to proceed with care if you've vetted a profile and are meeting for a date.

• Be sure to tell friends or family members where you plan to meet your date.
• Meet in a public place and keep the first meeting to just a few hours to gauge your interest and listen to your instincts without feeling overwhelmed.
• Find some other means of transportation besides your date.
• Set your boundaries, especially in terms of drinking or other risky activities.
• If you visit a bar or restaurant, ask your bartender or waiter for help if necessary.

Things to keep in mind when getting to know someone through dates

Remember, the goal is to enjoy talking and get to know someone who has caught your attention and seems interested in building a rapport. With various sites offering potential dates for free, it's important to filter through matches carefully and ask pertinent questions to understand the intentions of the men or women you meet.

Finding professional support and guidance

If you find the process of finding a romantic partner stressful or difficult, there are various resources available. You may be able to find a dating coach who can provide advice and find a strategy that works for you. In addition, if you have deeper underlying mental health problems you’re struggling with that are hindering your success romantically, you may find useful support through therapy.

Many people who struggle with dating find that working with a therapist to discuss and work through emotions from past relationships may help them with their current dating life. A therapist can provide objective and non-judgmental insight into your interpersonal relationships. People who enjoy the convenience of online dating may also be interested in exploring online therapy. With online therapy, clients can connect with a therapist from the comfort of their home.

While there is currently no research that shows the effectiveness of online therapy specifically for people who are dating online, evidence does show that online therapy is just as effective as in -person therapy for improving symptoms of various mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression disorders.