No Strings Attached? Examining The Psychology Of Friends With Benefits

A "friends with benefits" (FWB) arrangement usually involves individuals who are primarily friends engaging in sexual activities while mutually agreeing to avoid the emotional investment typically associated with committed relationships. FWB relationships can have both advantages and drawbacks, and they may not be right for everyone. It can be vital to maintain open communication at all times to ensure everyone in the arrangement feels comfortable and respected. A licensed therapist, whether in person or online, can help you determine whether this type of relationship may be the right choice for you.

What are friends with benefits?

You may have heard of “friends with benefits” (FWB) relationships from their numerous depictions in film and other types of media, or perhaps you or someone you know has engaged in this type of relationship. An FWB situation can be defined as a relationship in which people who are just friends engage in sexual activity with a mutual understanding of forgoing the emotional investment of a committed relationship. 

This type of relationship is ideally a romance-free, low-stress arrangement among individuals who share a mutual interest in sex with no strings attached. While FWB arrangements might seem ideal for some individuals, they may not be realistic for everyone.

With up to 50% of those in their 20s reporting having engaged in a “friends with benefits” scenario, FWB seems to be a popular arrangement for younger generations. Considering the convenience and options afforded by social media and the growing prevalence of dating apps, as well as the stress that often comes with navigating a relationship, it seems that FWB relationships may continue to increase in popularity. 

The psychological impact of being friends with benefits

While “friends with benefits” relationships might seem ideal for some, other individuals might be hesitant to enter such an arrangement. Some might fear developing an emotional attachment and “ruining the friendship.” However, research shows the psychological impact of being friends with benefits can be largely positive.

A study that surveyed 119 individuals currently participating in “friends with benefits” relationships found that both men and women reported overwhelmingly positive results. Survey participants described their results as “happy,” “desired,” and “satisfied.” 

However, “friends with benefits” situations were not strictly positive for all. Some participants reported feeling “deceived” and “clumsy,” while also regarding the overall experience of the relationship as “empty.” 

In other words, a “friends with benefits” relationship is generally not a one-size-fits-all solution for those seeking psychological well-being and fulfillment, yet the positives seem to outweigh the negatives for many. Even survey participants who experienced some drawbacks often reported enjoying the benefits of avoiding commitment and gaining confidence. 

Making “friends with benefits” work 

While “friends with benefits” arrangements might seem ideal, there are potential emotional and psychological pitfalls one may need to navigate. The key to establishing a healthy and productive “friends with benefits” arrangement may be focusing on open communication and establishing clear boundaries.

To ensure all participants in an FWB situation have their desires and expectations fulfilled, it can be crucial to discuss the parameters of the relationship from the start. It can be beneficial for participants to have a dialogue involving topics such as whether the arrangement is exclusive, whether to divulge the arrangement to friends, and other subjects related to boundaries. 

Individuals entering an FWB scenario should not be afraid to end the arrangement if need be. That can be why open communication is crucial at each step, and re-evaluating the arrangement can be necessary if one party believes their needs are not being met.

Examining the aftermath

Individuals who enter a “friends with benefits” relationship typically have an understanding that the arrangement will eventually come to an end. Depending on the type of relationship an individual enters, some may continue to have a “friends with benefits” relationship in addition to a separate committed romantic relationship. However, while updated research may be beneficial, existing evidence suggests that the majority of FWB arrangements never develop into a romantic relationship and simply come to an end.

When examining the aftermath of a “friends with benefits” scenario, research suggests the majority of FWB partners usually remain friends after sexual activity has stopped, and most who were already close friends before the arrangement reported feeling a closer bond in friendship as well. 

However, research also suggests FWB arrangements that are more sex-based than friendship-based can create more feelings of deception and loneliness in participants. These participants may be less likely to continue the friendship after sexual intimacy has stopped. 

In short, an FWB arrangement seems to be more psychologically beneficial among those who were close friends before sexual intimacy began, although each individual may have different needs and desires that must be expressed through direct and open communication.

How therapy can help 

Navigating a “friends with benefits'' relationship can be tricky for some individuals, especially for those who are experiencing some hesitancy entering such an arrangement. In many cases, therapy can help individuals tackle both positive and negative emotions tied to FWB situations. 

Benefits of online therapy

Connecting with a licensed professional via online therapy can be a great way for individuals to determine whether or not a “friends with benefits” relationship is the right option for them. The option to speak to a therapist through video, audio, or online chat may make it more comfortable for individuals to discuss potentially sensitive topics.

Effectiveness of online therapy

While the efficacy of online therapy for navigating FWB situations has not been studied, existing evidence supports the idea that online therapy can be an effective way to address and treat a variety of mental health and relationship concerns.

Takeaway

Entering a “friends with benefits” relationship can provide numerous potential psychological benefits, such as enhanced confidence, increased happiness, and freedom from the potential stress of romantic commitment and emotional investment. However, FWB arrangements are not always appropriate for all individuals, with some participants reporting negative experiences. It can be important to maintain open and honest communication to ensure all parties’ needs and desires are fulfilled, and their boundaries are respected. Pursuing therapy can be a great way to determine if an FWB scenario is right for you by connecting you with a licensed professional who can help you navigate the potential downsides of such an arrangement.