A Look Into Twin Flame Connections: Are They Real?

The concept of a twin flame has been elucidated for centuries by philosophers and spiritual thinkers attempting to describe a connection between two people that transcends an average bond. Considered two halves of one soul, twin flames are thought to have life experiences, qualities, and interests that mirror each other. But is this type of bond real? And if so, how do you know whether you’ve already connected with your twin flame? Below, we’re discussing the concept of twin flames, its history, and how to know whether you have this type of connection with a friend or partner.

Exploring the twin flame connection

In some cases, people use the terms twin flame and soulmate interchangeably, to mean someone who is a healthy, guiding force in their life. However, there are some differences between the concepts. Soulmates are not considered two halves of one soul; so they might be dissimilar in many ways, despite having a strong connection. And while it is believed that people can have multiple soulmates, we are thought to have only one twin flame with whom we may have an intense soul connection.

In general, a twin flame is considered to be the other half of the same soul, as if the two of you have the same soul split between two bodies, which can explain why it can seem as if your twin flame completes you. This intense connection can come with similarly intense emotions, and a true twin flame may be your best friend or a person with whom you have a romantic relationship.

The traits that may be associated with twin flame relationships include the following:

• Connecting on a deep level quickly and intensely; there may be a sense of instant recognition
• Exhibiting a push-pull dynamic
• Displaying striking similarities in personality, hobbies, and mindset
• Being profoundly drawn to each other
• Feeling as though you’re meeting “yourself"
• Experiencing intense growth 

Though the concepts behind the twin flame connection can signal the existence of a meaningful, healthy bond, many people associate them with problematic relationship patterns. The idea of this connection has been criticized as a way of rationalizing certain potentially unhealthy behaviors in relationships, such as codependency. A twin flame relationship is not immune from toxic relationship dynamics.

History

The concept of two souls that were split can be traced back to ancient Greece and Plato’s Symposium, in which Aristophanes—a real playwright whose speech was fictionalized in the text—discusses the emergence of love. He explains that early humans comprised two connected bodies, but that the gods feared their power, so Zeus eventually separated them into two. This, he claims, is why two people sometimes feel whole when they meet. Though the term twin flame is never used in it, this speech is considered the origin of the concept. It is also linked to the idea of soulmates. However, as discussed above, the concept of soul mates can differ from the concept of twin flames, as a person’s soul mate is not usually considered to have the same soul. However, a soul mate could be considered a person’s mirror soul.

The ideas associated with twin flames have been laid out by many others since Plato. Similar concepts are linked to religions like Buddhism, Christianity, and Judaism. (A religious connection is considered by some to be an important component of a twin flame relationship.) Many people have also found these ideas in literature and other artistic works over the years; for example, Romeo and Juliet is considered by some to be a story about twin flames. But it wasn’t until the 1970s that the term twin flame came into the mainstream, popularized by a New Age spiritual leader named Elizabeth Clare Prophet. Because of this connection to mysticism, the concept is often met with skepticism. It can be common for ideas involving a spiritual connection to be questioned and criticized.

Is this theory backed by science?

The concept of twin flames is theoretical in nature and has not been confirmed through scientific research. It is difficult to study a theory like this, but scientists and psychologists can look at specific characteristics in friendships, romantic relationships, and other relationships that may help lend it credence. For example, a study might look at the importance of common goals between partners, which is a commonly cited component of twin-flame relationships. Additionally, there is a large amount of anecdotal evidence of people experiencing strong connections with people who complement them.   

Signs you’ve met your match

Because the concept of a twin flame is somewhat nebulous, it can help to know what a relationship with such a person could look like in your life. The following are a few signs you may have met someone who makes you feel complete or with whom you have a soul connection.

You’re comfortable with each other

You may feel at ease around one another upon meeting, experiencing a sense of recognition or familiarity immediately. If you’ve met a twin flame, you might feel more comfortable with this person than you do with anyone else. You and your twin flame may be able to confide in each other, read one another’s moods, and be yourselves when you’re together, which may contribute to a healthy relationship.

You have common interests

Research suggests that partners who participate in activities together experience increased relationship satisfaction. Your twin flame may be someone who enjoys the same hobbies as you—or with whom you can explore new pursuits. In fact, people in this type of relationship often meet through their common interests. Similarities when it comes to hobbies can also reveal mutual values. For example, if you both like outdoor activities, you may also have a passion for environmental conservation in common. 

You feel deeply connected

A profound connection with another person could be another sign that you have a unique relationship. For example, perhaps you and your partner seem to be constantly thinking about each other, offering loving gestures, or spending hours talking on the phone. Feeling drawn to someone in a powerful way is an indicator that they’re your twin flame, and this type of magnetism between you and your romantic partner can be totally normal.

You have similar traits

Have you ever met someone whose personality seems to mirror your own? Maybe you have mutual motivations, a sense of humor, or a Myers-Briggs type. Having someone in your life who is similar to you may be refreshing, allowing you to feel heard and understood. It may also cause conflict, though. For example, if both you and your twin flame-like to take control in certain situations, this can lead to tension. Sometimes, twin flame stages involve conflict stemming from their similarities.

Are twin flame relationships toxic?

While the general concepts behind the theory may not seem problematic, some people may use the idea of a twin flame to justify potentially unhealthy patterns, like a push-pull dynamic or disorganized attachment. Twin flame relationships can also lead to strong emotions, which may be taxing for some. If you believe your partner or friend is your twin flame, but you have been hurt by the relationship multiple times, it may be worth looking into whether your relationship shows signs of being unhealthy. 

Signs a relationship may be unhealthy

If you believe you’re in a twin flame relationship, it may help to be aware of certain unhealthy patterns that can arise in these connections. The following are signs of a potentially unhealthy twin flame relationship or other relationship, regardless of whether romantic love or unconditional love is involved.

You may wonder, “Are twin flames meant to be together?” The answer may be no if the following unhealthy signs are present:

Frequent conflict

Because twin flames can be so similar, arguments may occur regularly. Partners who are each strong willed or naturally argumentative may be particularly at risk. Additionally, since they are considered “mirror souls”, it means they may reflect certain qualities that an individual does not like in themselves. For example, someone who is impatient might notice that trait in their twin flame more readily, leading to conflict. If you and your twin flame argue often, this can be a sign that your relationship is strained.

A push-pull dynamic

A cycle of drawing close and then drifting apart is commonly associated with these connections. Although often romanticized, this push-pull dynamic can be unhealthy, potentially leading to an imbalance of power and hurt feelings. When one person in a relationship is pushing to become closer, and the other is pulling away, this can give more power to the person pulling away and may make the person pushing feel rejected. This can also lead to a pattern of breaking up and getting back together. While a push-pull dynamic is common in relationships, it can be a sign that a twin flame relationship is unhealthy. 

Codependency

Many people who view themselves as having this connection may feel connected based on common experiences with trauma or mental health challenges. While this can be a sign of compatibility, it can also lead to codependency, a relationship dynamic based on one individual needing their partner, while their partner feels an increasing desire to be needed. As with a push-pull dynamic, codependency can create a power imbalance. There is a link between trauma and codependent relationships, which suggests that connections built on common traumatic experiences may be more at risk of exhibiting this dynamic. It can be important to focus on your own self-love and spiritual growth if you believe you may be experiencing codependent dynamics.

Fostering deeper connections through online therapy

The results of an increasingly large number of studies show that online therapy can help couples develop healthy relationship dynamics. For example, in a study on the efficacy of online couples therapy—which included 300 couples—participants reported experiencing increases in relationship satisfaction, confidence, and quality. Additionally, researchers noted that online therapy led to individual mental health improvements, including reductions in symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

Whether you’re looking to nurture healthy relationships, discuss your spiritual beliefs, or address similar mental health-related topics, online therapy can help. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp (for individuals) or Regain (for couples), you can participate in couples therapy remotely, which can be more convenient if you and your partner aren’t in the same area. Online therapy is also affordable—BetterHelp subscriptions start at $65 per week (based on factors such as your location, referral source, preferences, therapist availability and any applicable discounts or promotions that might apply)—so you can save more money for dates with your twin flame.